Brussels, Belgium: Perpetual Delirium

Hehehe. I really giggle to think of Brussels. I've wanted to come to Belgium for a long time and I've specifically had a thing for Brussels ever since I saw the first episode of Three Sheets with Zane Lamprey where he went to the Delirium Cafe and drank a host of bizarre beers (with equally bizarre characters). But what do we really know about Brussels? Well, for one brussel sprouts. They are pretty disgusting as I recall. But anything else?

Oh yeah, I remember a beer in NY we used to drink called Blanche de Bruxelles. It was a solid beer. And it had a peeing baby on the front. What relevance does that have? Well, turns out the peeing baby, or manneken pis, is the symbol of the city. I didn't get around to seeing it until my last full day in Brussels but since we're closing in on the end of Stint 2 of Wanderlust, let's break some time continuum rules. Bam! Pissing baby!

It's actually really tiny- only about the size of your arm elbow to wrist. Not an appropriate time for a "that's what she said joke." Anyway, I was fired up for Brussels because of one thing: beer. Specifically Belgian beer which is basically my favorite type of beer in the world. It's strong, it's flavorful, and there are thousands of kinds. Plus it's the predominant home of Trappist ales which I love (and as Kev will tell you, love to wax poetic on).

So if you were loving the historical elements of the last posts and enjoying the break from beer and drinking and insanity- you might want to skip this one. We'll be going about 85% beer and 15% other stuff. Speaking of the other stuff, one of the coolest non-beer things of Brussels is their metro markers. Not only does it tell you when the next train is coming, it shows the location of every train on the line! This should be rolled out to every city.

Within the first 15 minutes of walking around from the hostel I spotted something I thought extinct from ages, and I mean AGES, ago... It's best if you just see the photo...

A freakin Chi-Chi's!?!? Do you remember that? You have to be born before 1985 in the states to have any shot of remembering these. I doubt my sister even remembers these. But they were everywhere. They were THE Tex-Mex place long before such a thing became fashionable. They were just too much too fast I guess because they all went out of business. I had totally forgotten about it. I remember vaguely recalling a Tex-Mex place one night when I was drinking in the Caliente Cab in NYC but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. It was Chi Chi's. Mo-Fo's!

Before I got to Brussels I would, naturally, tell people I was heading there. And people literally leaped over one another to tell me how much they hated it. Really? Yea. Of course, given my disposition, I'm inclined to give it preferential treatment. Ha. As an aside, that's an interesting trait I have. My ex hated it. But the fact of the matter is, I tend to drift toward the underdog, the unwashed masses. If someone won't give someone/something a chance, I feel inclined to become his/her/its champion. I just feel like everyone/everything/every idea deserves a fair shake. 

Anyway, everyone hates Brussels. Apparently it's not "fairy-tale" enough. But even without the bias and my extreme love for beer, Brussels is a real cool city. First off, check the main square with the old Town Hall. Exceptionally impressive.

But that's not the only thing impressive in that square. Peep these random buildings.

So anyway, yatta yatta the center city is nice. "But Mike, what about the beer?!?" Thank god you asked. My first stop was at A la Mort Subite which means "at the sudden death." Zane stopped here to play a little 4-2-1, but the reason I was visiting was to try their infamous Faro beer. Without getting into too much detail a faro is a lambic derivative to which brown sugar or molasses is added. It's fairly rare. Actually... it's doubtful you, dear reader, know what a lambic is. Ok. brief beer lesson:

A lambic is a type of beer whereby, instead of a brewer's yeast, the mixture is exposed to wild yeasts. It would be like making bread but instead of using a poolish from an established yeast strain you left some flour and water mixture out to see what you could catch. Sometimes the yeast will create an incredible flavor you would never expect... and sometimes it will ruin the bread. It's a risk.

Lambics are most known for their use in re-fermentation blended with fruit to create "fruit beers." If you've ever had a kriek or framboise beer, you're drinking a lambic re-fermented with cherries or strawberries, respectively. Anyway, the faro was great, albeit different, and then I tried a Grimbergen bruin which, on draught, was excellent.

After A la Mort Subite, I made my way to the Delirium Cafe where I tried a number of outstanding beers. I have some pictures of the place but they'll get posted later. Without too much detail the rest of the night went like this: met some guys in a French beer society- was asked to join them, met some Belgian girls who attempted to teach me French, became "over-full" of beer, hung out with a homeless girl on the streets of Brussels after dropping her a couple euro, and finally scored a kebab at a place near the hostel (as you'll see, this will become a theme).

The next day I acquired a map and decided to see the city, but in the morning I got an email from Rick saying he would be joining me in Brussels in 2 days so I decided to save the very center for when he arrived. The map had three "outer-city" walks so I decided to do them. The first one took me through the northern part of the city.

I was following the map, like a good boy should, when I spotted something in the distance that intrigued me. It was a big domed building that looked a little like the Berliner Dom. So I decided to defer the remainder of my tour and see what this thing was. The only problem was it tricked me! Remember the Arc de Triomphe in Pairs where I walked for what seemed like hours? This was the same thing. I finally made it close enough to get a picture.

But at the time and via a cursory look through wikipedia I never did figure out what it was. I did find this awesome picture though. You're welcome. I also came across this very Lupin III: Castle of Cagliostro looking church which I also couldn't find the name of. I'm the premier tourist.

That detour was all well and good but by this point I was famished. And my map told me that, once I rejoined the tour route, I was very near a place to get good Belgian frites- the grandfather of "French fries." I swung in and ordered a small batch (which was quite a handsome amount) and a "cheese croquette." The former is as to be expected and the latter is essentially the same thing you would expect to find in Prague as a "fried cheese."

Also the Belgians are a bit like the Dutch in that they love sweet sauces. The frites were outstanding but the uber-sweet ketchup made them almost impossible to eat. The map next led me to the commercial center of Brussels.

Why would I bother to post this you might ask? Granted it looks just like a standard commercial park in the States. Well, the map had me walk about halfway up this row of buildings until the North train station on the right. I was then instructed to walk through the station. On the eastern side of the station, I kid you not, is the red light district. At the time I wrote the following:

"Walking west to east through the north station is like walking from Manhattan to Amsterdam. Skyscrapers and businesses on the left, hookers, bars, and kebabs on the right. Must be difficult concentrating on work in these office buildings." Prophetic. That more or less did it for the northern tour. The eastern tour was the "European Walk" and strolled you through most of the EU-concentrated areas. But first it took me down this street that was painted absurdly... surely this causes all types of accidents...

I mean, the bus lane seems to lead into that building. And what is the "Y" lane for? I couldn't figure it out. Eventually it leads you out of chaos and into the one of the nicest sections of Brussels. Apparently here you had to build a really fancy looking house or you couldn't inhabit the area. The result: exceptionally detailed houses and a very "European" vibe.

From there you walk through the "epicenter" of the EU. The map and some locals described it as similar to the National Mall in DC or Tienanmen Square in Beijing. But frankly it's just an annoying circle (roundabout) that they call a "square." The EU Council is located here but see for yourself. It's lame.

It's probably a reasonable time to note that not only is Brussels the capital of Belgium but it's also currently the capital of the EU. There's more of that coming but first, here is the "Triumphal Arch" (uh, Arc de Triomphe?)

Actually it looks more to me like the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin than the Arc in Paris. Anyway, the coolest part of that area isn't even the arch. Not by a longshot. It's the really awesome military museum in the left flank that has a host of old airplanes and other vehicles. Sadly it was closed the day I visited but I did sneak a photo through the window. If you go to Brussels, check this place out (it's free!) and tell me how it is!

The most important part of the "European walk" was the recommended pommes frites joint. Even the Belgian girl at the hostel said, "yes, these are best fries in Belgium. By far." So, you get first a picture of them:

And second, you get the name of the place as well as a peek at the menu.

Take a look at it... really soak it in. Notice anything particularly odd? Look at the second column. No further down. Further. Yep, right near the bottom. You see it? "cheese crack"!?? WHAT?!?!? Never fear dear reader, I do get to the bottom of this mystery but you'll have to wait until a future post.

Really the highlight of the "European walk" is the Parlimentarium. It's the EU parliament and not only is it a mouthful it's a staggeringly large complex. This is what it looks like from behind. I always like to start with a shot from behind and work my way to the front. As you'll see, in this case, it's more than warranted.

The other side is marked by the former Luxembourg train station. All that remains is the very central building of the station- lonesomely occupying the space at the end of the square. Poor little station. We still love you! According to my map it's one of the premier and only examples of old school Brussels Belgian architecture that remains in the city. K.

The third "walk" I did according to my map was through the southern "uptown" portion of the city, so called because it is literally on a higher altitude than the rest of Brussels. Do you like Africa? Well, if you remember you colonization history lessons, most of the Belgian colonies were in Africa. One of the main streets in this area of uptown has places from the Congo, Cameroon, Rwanda, and Senegal. This is one of such streets. I'll be honest, the food smelled fantastic.

My favorite part of this walk (and it was the least scenic of the three I think) was that the sunset was bursting through the clouds so I got some nice photos, such as this one near the Palace of Justice.

Not sunset-y enough for you? Then check this one which I really love without it including anything particularly special. It just strikes me. Does it do the same for you?

"What's the Palace of Justice?" you say? Why, a palace where justice is administered of course. I won't post a pic of this domineering building because it's under construction but you can check flickr if you want. What I will post are some cool shots of the rest of Brussels from nearby as the landscape drops off dramatically from the Palace of Justice. It's what divides "uptown" from "downtown" as there is literally a free elevator that takes you down to the rest of the proletariat.

What's the view like from the bottom? I may be the perfect person to provide that:

Toward the end of my walk I found some apartment buildings which looked like they were built to house sweat-shop workers... I wasn't going to post a picture but, eh, this close to the end... picturepalooza! Here you go. Why even bother with flickr?!?

And while we're at it, an old gate to the city or something. Actually I don't know what this is, I can just say that this picture came out really well. So enjoy it for what it's worth- which is not much.

That night back at the hostel I met Mella, a half Chinese half Russian girl from Australia. Love that mix. I immediately informed her of my (and fellow futurists) theory of the mixed races being the chosen people of the future. I believe it, and I think she believes it too. Anyway, she accompanied me back to the Delirium Cafe for another night of several rounds of beers. I was impressed with her ability to stick almost entirely to lambic fruit beers. Inspired, I even ordered a Delirium Red (cherry) beer. It was pretty solid but a little sweet for my taste.

The night ended as the previous night ended, with a kebab. That's two. The next day I decided to make a trek up to Antwerp which will be covered in a separate post. When I got back into the city Rick had arrived and he, Mella, Ben from Australia, and Ryan from Canada, and I all went out. Before really tackling the Delirium Cafe (again), we made a first stop at A la Mort Subite so they could try the Faro. Then we hit the infamous Chez Leon for some mussels, frites, and beer. And these mussels must have been formed in Venice Beach because they were freakin serrrrus.

"Is that garlic butter with white wine and cheese on those mussels?" Ab-so-freakin-lutely! Oh these were like mussels on steroids, and I'm not even attempting a pun there. So so good. Perfect base for round three of serious beers at Delirium Cafe. By the way- if you want to know exactly what beers I had and what I thought of them, send me a note. I want to refrain from turning this into a beer blog. That said, you certainly deserve to see what the infamous Delirium Cafe looks like. Are you ready for it? Are you sure? Ok...

Whoa! Who is that guy in the sweater?! He's creeping me out and this is only a picture. How didn't I notice him before... oh yea, beer. And speaking of beer, have you seen a jollier bearded gentleman this side of Santa Claus than this guy?

That's one heck of a beer bottle. The night was an outstandingly fun one (as were all nights in Brussels). Here is the best shot I could muster of Mella and her new hat as the night progressed into a fuzzy insanity. I should also note that the night ended with a kebab from the same place. 3 for 3.

My last full day in Brussels was a toss up. And by toss up I mean a toss up as to what to do. After three consecutive nights of heavy Belgian beer drinking I awoke feeling a bit tender around the gills. Not hungover per se, but a general feeling of "I'm not well." I spoke with Rick and he was having a similar issue. Since we wanted to see the main central-city tourist sights, and it was a nice day, and a hangover was likely imminent, it was decided to embark on the first inaugural Brussels City-Tour Day-Drinking Extravaganza.

And what better way to start the event than with a mitraillette (a sandwich of hamburger (steak hache), tomato, onion, lettuce, other stuff, fries, and spicy sauce) and a beer? A heavy sandwich for a heavy task. This was the type of day I really wish my good pal Kev was around for- he of all people could truly appreciate this type of nonsense. So nonsensical it only makes sense.

Doesn't that look delicious? Anyway, we kept acquiring beers and drinking along our tour. We saw the peeing baby which I already posted. And then we found part of what i believe is the old city wall:

And then I got this picture after I tripped and nearly spilled all of my beer (thankfully only a small portion was lost) climbing some stairs toward the palace. Scenic no?

As for the palace itself? Well it's large, in charge, and looks more or less like this:

Another place too big to fit into one photo straight on. Eventually Rick and I made our way to the Celtica, a great bar that has 1 and 2 euro beer specials including many bottles that would run you 3-5 euros in other establishments. For example, you can get a Westmalle trippel for 2 euro. While we were there I showed Rick and Mella, who had met us after our city tour, a bullet that I had been given the night before by a crazy Latvian guy.

Apparently this guy was going around Brussels (to bars, hostels, whatever) with a loaded handgun. Because he liked me he thought it prudent to give me a bullet as a sign of our friendship. Ok, in that situation I'm not going to ask. But the next day the bullet ended up in the bottom of my beer at Celtica as you can see in this picture (very bottom of glass- 9mm bullet). I guess that's better than me forgetting I had it and it getting picked up on my way through customs!

The same as the prior three nights, we then proceeded to the Delirium Cafe where we met some really interesting German girls. Unfortunately the past several days activities as well as the all-day burner gave me, per my estimate, midnight until I would collapse. Staggeringly my estimate turned out to be mortally precise as at 12:02 I had an overwhelming need to leave.

Belgian beer is awesome. Frankly, it's the best. But, unlike American or other types of beers, it doesn't pass through you quickly. It really fills you up. And after a number of them, you feel like you're floating in them. So I had to retreat from DC early and... you guessed it, make it 4 for 4 kebab time. Just getting something solid on my stomach really turned the tide but, alas, it was too late for a return to the DC. I retired early and was ready for a full day of recuperation.

The reason I posted so many pictures and went into such detail on this entry is simple: I loved Brussels. And to anyone who thought Brussels was crap, wow, clearly you haven't been to Cologne. Brussels is a great international city. There's a tremendous amount of food options (including the once-thought-extinct Chi Chi's!), great bars (no explanation necessary), sites to see (I'm sure I just glossed over them), and everyone readily speaks Dutch, German, French, English, and because of the EU you have doezens of other languages being spoken.

Is it as universally pretty as some other European cities? Maybe not. Maybe it's not as monumental, but it's real. And I like that. I really do like Brussels. This is one of the few cities I could see myself living in quite easily. My next stop was going to be Bruges. I originally wanted to stay in Ghent and do a day or two in Bruges but the hostels were much better the other way around. And, of course, there will be a discussion of Antwerp. But Brussels was great. Real great. Worth the wait.