Gear for the Gear-Minded

Due to popular request (James "Simba" Park) here is the actual list of gear I am taking. Obviously this is an abridged list as there is no way anyone wants to read about the type of pants I am taking or what is going in the first aid kid (hint: band-aids).

1. REI Mars 80 Pack: Technically the pack I have is a "Mars 85" as I have the large version. Apparently 6'1" is considered giant status in the world of backpacking so mine is a little longer to accommodate my exceptionally elongated torso. Incidentally, the extra length provides more space for gear- 85 liters versus 80 liters for the "normal" people pack. I also took a serious look at the Grand Tour 85 which has a really cool detachable backpack feature.

Ultimately I went with the Mars 80 for the following reasons: (1) I don't really use a backpack when touring cities- I can fit everything I need in my pockets; (2) the Mars 80 is made more for longer expeditions and is more durable, has better waterproofing, more adjustable fitting options, and better more comfortable straps; and (3) the Grand Tour is designed to carry around 15 liters of the 85 in the backpack which creates a horizontal loading versus the vertical loading of the Mars 80. Both are great packs though and I went with REI over other companies because of the lifetime warranty, great reviews, and the fact that there is one 20 mins from my Dad's house.

2. Vasque Breeze GTX Hiking Boot: This boot is outstanding. It's fully waterproofed with Gore-Tex and has a medium-flexible ankle support. And of course, two boots are better than one. After trying on numerous boots, I found I like a little bit of flexibility versus the very stiff support some of the heavier leather-clad boots were equipped with. This boot also has breathable meshing (another feature lacking in some of the heavier boots) and they weigh in at a paltry 2 pounds compared to 3+ for some of the other ones I tried on. I've taken them on three short pack hikes (3, 6, and 9 miles) and they require very little breaking in. Sure wish I had something like these when I backpacked as a youngster!


I also picked up a couple pairs of Smartwool PhD Outdoor Socks. Two pairs of light and one medium (for colder days). These are excellent well-fitting socks. Upon trying them out with the Vasque boots I think you could easily get by with the light socks for all but very cold days. The heavy ones must be designed for Everest summit attempts.

3. Marmot Ridgetop Component Jacket: Holy balls this jacket is tremendous! Let me start by saying I have always wanted a component jacket with a fleece inner lining and waterproof exterior. Well, as John Madden famously said: BOOM! This is probably my favorite item I've purchased. Fully waterproof outershell with waterproof zippers, interlocking liner, removable hood, lots of compartments, and of course- it comes in black. The neon green was intriguing but at the end of the day I'm a back in black kind of guy. I highly recommend this jacket and its components for hiking, camping, strolling around, watching tv, drinking in a bar, or for use as a makeshift shelter in the event of a cross-state police pursuit.


4. REI Passage 2 Tent: I know what you're thinking- "Mike, you are actually planning to CAMP while in Europe??" Yes, and not only that, I'm planning to do some free-camping (camping outside of designated campsites) when possible. Obviously it's very important to ASK if you can camp somewhere before you just plop down, but from what I have read sunset-to-sunrise free-camping is generally allowed provided you ask. In many places it seems that the owners of the land are more likely to insist you stay with them than camp on their land. Can't wait to throw back a few rounds of fire-water with the locals in a rustic farmhouse.

Anyway, I like this particular tent because it has a dual vestibule entryway and is around 90 inches long. It is also around 5 lbs which was average for most tents but on the lower end for two person tents (all of the one-person tents are pretty cramped). I haven't tried it out yet but from what I read it seems like a perfectly suitable tent. I only hope I can lure a sexy young coed into the tent so that I can get in a verbal tussle with her, storm out and slam the flap a la Mitch Hedberg. And with two entrances, I'll have multiple escapes to choose from.

5. North Face Dolomite 2S Sleeping Bag: I had a couple requirements when it came to a sleeping bag: (1) it had to be more than 6'1" long (there is nothing more annoying than your head sticking part of the way out); (2) it had to be rectangular (not mummy) as I have foot claustrophobia; (3) it had to be lighter than 3 lbs; and (4) it had to be less than $100 as spending more than that seemed absurd. After sifting through those requirements, the Dolomite 2S was pretty much the obvious choice. It comes in a "long" version that's 6'5" and weights in at 2.2 lbs. I would have preferred the down version which is lighter and arguably more comfortable but it was also double the price so f that noise.

I'm also bringing my old Slumberjack camp pillow. I was not originally going to take a pillow but considering I already have it and it weighs less than half a pound it seems to make sense to bring it along. The last time I used that pillow on a backpacking trip my friend Zack Garrett tripped along the trail while carrying the bags of garbage and somehow managed to fall and pin himself down underneath a pile of trash. Good memories.

6. CamelBak All Clear UV Water Purifying Bottle: One of the most important things to bring when you are doing extended hikes through rough or unsettled terrain is a way to purify water from local sources. When I was a youngster we used tablets which turned the water an unsavory light brown and had an equally unsavory taste. Since those formative years there have been great advances in water purification. The most easy to use option is UV purification. Until recently one of the better options appears to have been the SteriPEN which is exactly as it sounds- a "pen" you swirl around in the water for a minute or so until it is purified.

Within the last month or so, however, CamelBak released a bottle with a purifying top. You simply fill with water, press the button and agitate for 60 seconds. The best part is that the cap fits any standard CamelBak water bottle (of which I happen to have another) so you just purify one bottle, fill any other CamelBak bottle, and then transfer the cap and purify that. It also comes with a regular cap and a case to keep the purifying top. I think it is good for 10,000 cycles and it was about $10 more than the SteriPEN. Clearly this is THE water purifying option of choice.

Other than those items, most of the remaining gear is relatively standard. I did buy a pair of New Balance 993's for general walking around but that was less about the trip and more the product of me not having bought a new pair of sneakers in about 3 years.

Thoughts of the Unemployed Man

Now that I have been jobless for over two months I think it is high time I reflect on some of the nuances of my new daily life as well as some observations that escaped me during my years of steady gainful employment.

First off, and most obviously, I no longer have a set time to awaken- granted the group I worked for was exceptionally lenient in that regard. Mercifully there was never the mandate to be plopped in my chair by the ungodly hour of 9am. As a reasonable gentleman, however, I tried to make an appearance by 10 or 10:30 at the latest. Although I was often in that office well past midnight on many many nights, I always felt a sense of duty to show my face with at least an hour to spare until lunch time.

Now- I have no such feelings of duty (or shame) and justly can get up whenever the hell I feel like it. Then again, there is also no endless series of work tasks to be completed keeping me up until the wee hours of the morning. Not to mention that without the work related stress I'm actually able to sleep more than 2-3 hours per night. Wunderbar! All that said, there is absolutely no justifiable reason why I shouldn't be going to bed at a reasonable hour and arising likewise. Well, except for one: there is duly no justifiable reason why I should drag my ass out of bed any earlier than 11am... at least on a weekday. Let's keep it respectable. And since sloth is strictly prohibited by the Bible, that must mean it's pretty awesome. So until a need otherwise arises, I shall not.

Going hand-in-hand with my new time table for awakening from slumber, I have discovered that eating lunch is now optional. In the old pre-jobless days, one absolutely needed to fortify themselves for the onslaught of afternoon calls, meetings, nonsensical paperwork, and the like with a large dose of hearty fare. A personal favorite of mine was a grilled chicken sandwich with pesto and fresh mozzarella (or mootz as spoken by my dear faux-Italian buddies) and a large side of macaroni and cheese. Stick to the ribs goodness.

As I don't even consider peeking my head out of the covers until most working people have hit their third cup of coffee, a large lunch seems superfluous. Since, as I will get into more detail below, my average day consists of going to the gym, reading a book, watching ESPN, reading about which dictator has been deposed or inserted on CNN.com, plucking nose-hairs, driving around aimlessly, and occasionally playing a round of golf, I have found I can subside on either: (a) a banana; (b) a slice of toast; or (c) nothing in the hours between awakening and dinner.

Speaking of watching ESPN, it is only once you have absorbed 5 hours of consecutive daytime programming that you realize a fundamental truth: ESPN should only exist between the hours of 6pm-12am. OK OK, I know what you're thinking. As the magnanimous (and modest) soul I am, I'll even acquiesce to 1-2 hours of morning programming for those in need of a sports fix prior to their prolonged life-sucking daily commute. Anything else is nothing more than filler and an immense waste of airtime that could otherwise be allocated to awesome infomercials such as the Back2Life. Badass.

I came to this conclusion a few weeks back. One weekday mid-afternoon I was watching First Take. Skip Bayless was on with intermittent guests such as Kordell Stewart and Michael Smith. The last topic they were discussing was something along the lines of a reverse racial bias Tim Tebow was receiving (or not) for being an "athlete quarterback" versus a "throwing quarterback." Or whatever. Anyway, Skip and Kordell had their say and there was another woman who was just about to pipe up and the moderator cut her off saying they had run out of time. How unfortunate.

The screen faded out and then back in to the title screen of the next program on air- Sports Nation. As soon as the jingle was done, the cameras focus in to reveal none other than Skip Bayless, Kordell Stewart and the same woman from the program before. Wearing the exact same clothes. And would you guess it, the first topic was whether Tim Tebow was receiving racial bias. And each person literally repeated the same things they had on the prior show- with the exception that the poor woman was vindicated with the opportunity to speak her mind. Score one for the suffrage movement! Later, this same topic was discussed on Around the Horn and PTI, and I'd wager if I was awake before 11am I would have heard it on Mike and Mike in the Morning. Talk about stretching the programming agenda.

Instead of 6-8 hours of that nonsense, I'd rather them just line up all those clowns and give them 5 seconds a piece. Skip? "I agree with it.", Tony? "That's ridiculous", Mike? "Opposite of whatever Tony said." "Great stuff guys. Thank you for watching ESPN daytime. Now, back to your regularly scheduled infomercials." Cue the Back2Life.

So anyway. Walmart. Where to begin? For one, I haven't been inside a Walmart in probably 7 years, but I'm thrilled to report they are still hawking the same low-priced low-quality wares that I so fondly remember. For example, I got a tremendous neon-yellow traffic vest for $3.50!!

Ok as an aside, I may have made one small omission in regards to quality- for some strange reason the produce there is much better tasting than what I can get at Lowes Foods, Harris Teeter, or Food Lion. Recently I've had some outstanding Walmart tomatoes. In February. I know right! I'm not sure if that's because they are frankentomatoes or what, but frankenly- I don't care. I've had about all I can stand of the organic, farm-raised, free range, hypoallergenic food craze. At this point, I don't care if the tomatoes are bionic, as long as they taste like tomatoes and not shitty tomatoes.

One difference I did come across at Walmart is the makeup of the day-shift patrons. I suppose I had never really roamed the cavernous aisles of a Super Walmart during daylight hours but, much to my surprise, the average age of shoppers between the hours of 2-4pm appears to be 72. And that including yours truly in the average. I guess I shouldn't be shocked considering they are likely on the same retirement program I am (albeit perhaps not transient). Needless to say, the average cart speed during those hours is a paltry 0.2 mph. As such, my NASCAR-style shopping antics were not roundly appreciated.


So, dress code. For 5+ years it was a button down long sleeve shirt, slacks or suit pants, dark socks, dress shoes, and (during the appropriate times/seasons) a blazer. Since being unemployed, I am no longer dressing for success but merely dressing. A typical legging attire usually consists of linen pants, gym shorts, or nothing. Similarly, for my torso I usually wear a shirt. Any will do. My favorite, and most oft seen, ensemble consists of black gym pants, a tshirt, and a nylon black jacket. It's a very similar look to the black track suits Chaz and his kids wear at the end of the Royal Tenenbaums. Just wish I had that hair:


Finally, as you may have surmised, I occasionally find myself having trouble filling the day. There is only so much time one can spend sleeping, getting things together for a trip, playing golf, reading, surfing the internet, and re-organizing a vintage porn collection. Normally I would occupy the spare hours with a hefty bout of drinking, but to do so on a regular basis seems counterproductive to my daily gym attendance. Until I come up with something better to do, however, I guess I'll keep cruising gas stations and shopping cart drag racing the old folks at Walmart.

New York: (Re)visited

Last week I had the opportunity to return to New York for a few days of revelry and other brouhaha. While I was unable to see everyone I would have liked during my brief visit, I nonetheless had an outstanding time seeing a few good friends and otherwise making merry.

The first thing that struck me when I arrived at Penn Station (apart from the rolling bag of a hurried commuter) was the immense amount of collected beings. Living in the far corners of remote North Carolina for the past 6 weeks has heightened my awareness for the proximity and density of fellow homo sapiens. Naturally, the first words out of my mouth when I climbed the stairs into the main Amtrak platform was "holy shit that is a lot of people."

Strange how a few weeks away from the hustle and bustle can alter the way you perceive and react to those around you. As a citizen of the great metropolis I have walked by hundreds of thousands of people and it had never once occurred to me to acknowledge the magnitude of souls soldiering past me.

Similarly, 6 weeks "up the country" allowed my ears to adjust to a reasonable volume for a day's worth of activities. Even after such a short reprieve, the first five minutes waiting for the 1 train nearly deafened me. At this moment it became irrevocably clear: the outlandishly loud nature of New York has to be considered one of the primary reasons why said denizens tend to speak in volumes of either loud, louder, or loudest. Everyone is at minimum moderately deaf.

Anyway, in all the excitement I forgot to take some pictures while I was there, but a friend was able to shoot this short video of Kev and I hanging out with some of the local talent.



After that things got hazy, but before I fled over the 69th Street Bridge someone snapped this photo of me:


ETA: Did anyone know that James Park is actually the Duke of New York? Here is a picture of his car.