Valencia, Spain: Benidorming & Ostriching amongst the Oranges

Valencia, the city of oranges. Where to begin? I suppose at the beginning- it wouldn't make much sense to tell you the tale in reverse. First off though, I just want to note that Valencia is extremely underhyped. And by that I mean I heard absolutely nothing about it from fellow travelers roaming Spain. I heard heaps about Madrid, Sevilla, Granada, Cadiz, Cordoba, Barcelona, and even Salamanca and Tarifa, but nary a peep about Valencia. It seems it is universally left off the Spain itinerary by most travelers which is a real shame because Valencia is freakin awesome.

But before I get to my adventures in Valencia I must first get you, dear reader, up to speed on my journey. We last left an ailing me in Almeria preparing to take the overnight bus to Valencia. The overnight bus was about as expected: hot, crowded, and a bit odorous- not much out of the ordinary. I would, however, like to describe two incidents of note. One, at some point during the ride I wrote the following note on my iphone: "the man in front of me smells like he smoked 10 cigars, shit his pants, and then boarded the bus." Upon a quick reading this might not seem that funny, but I couldn't stop laughing about the mental image of this leathery old dude puffing away on cigars right as the bus is about to pull out, extinguishing his last one, then right before stepping onto the bus he pauses, calmly craps himself, and then climbs aboard. Maybe my humor is a bit crass but I found it hilarious.

Second, there was something under my seat that I kept kicking as it was blocking me from stretching out my legs. I thought the old man had jammed something in there so I kept trying to push it forward. All I could see was that it had some sort of protruding flexible cylindrical element. At first I thought it was a type of cane, then an oxygen tank. Meanwhile I'm just kicking away at this thing. Finally, the bus stops for us to us the restroom and get a snack and I take a look at what I've been toe-bashing only to discover... the fire extinguisher! Not only that, I had somehow pulled out the pin and had I kept kicking it most certainly would have set the thing off. Glad I took a look!

When I got into Valencia it was around 4 in the morning and I proceeded on foot to the hostel. When I arrived the guy at reception informed me that the common areas were closed and I couldn't just crash on the couch until the morning. I said "well, what do you suppose I do then?" He replied slowly, "why don't you walk around the city for a few hours?" I just stared at him for a few moments in silence. Then I finally came up with "Nooooo... I don't think I will." I mean, come on man. It's 4am everything is closed. So, instead of leaving I just stood about 3 feet away from him pretending to read stuff on the wall for the next 15 minutes. If I can't convince you with reason or logic, I'll make you uncomfortable to the point where you give in. Finally he turns to me and says "you can probably just sleep on the couch if you want to." Bingo. I knew he'd see it my way.

After getting a brief rest in the "closed" common area it was time to tour Valencia. Doing the typical Mike Steele routine I signed up for the free walking tour. The first stop was the Plaza de la Virgen where you can find the Cathedral, the Basilica and a building which was erected to assist the disabled. Valencia is a city that is very proud of it's collective moral consciousness. 

I absolutely love the streets of Valencia. They are really well designed, exceptionally clean and exhibit some great architecture. Walking down La Paz you can see the Tower from Plaza Lope de Vega all the way down in the distance. The tower itself was one of the tallest buildings in Spain for many years.

Probably the most iconic feature of the city apart from the tower is the Torres de Serranos which was one of the main city gates in old Valencia. Because it was so thick and well fortified it was also used as a prison to house influential and wealthy lawbreakers.

After the tour we stopped in for one of Valencia's primary specialties (apart from paella of course): horchata. It's a drink made of sugar, water, and ground up tiger nuts. For those of you with minds in the gutter, no I'm not referring to tiger testicles- it's a type of tuber. Our tour guide declared it has super hangover-alleviating powers but I was dubious. That said, it was a tasty beverage and after trying it at the "best" and most famous location in Valencia, I surrendered to drinking it on several other occasions during my stay. It is usually served with a pastry that tastes a bit like a bready donut. 

That night we did the traditional night one bar crawl. Similarly on the Mike Steele routine, Bill, a friend from Granada, had arrived in Valencia and he, I, and Marc a guy I met on the free tour joined up on the pub crawl. Despite it being a traditionally slow night we had a decent crew and ended up having a great time.

The next day Claudia from Granada and a hungover Marc and I decided to make a day-trip down to Benidorm. Let me give you a little background info. Benidorm was once a small Spanish coastal town about two hours south of Valencia- then the Brits arrived. And they did so in waves and with them they brought skyscrapers.

Now the city is blanketed in these skyscrapers and the Brit pensioners who inhabit them storm the beaches to sunburn their bodies to a nice crispness. And as is typical with most European beaches the women are prone to sunbathe sans tops. In Benidorm, however, the age and general weight of the beach patrons make such sights quite a bit unsavory. Having sufficiently scorched both our skin and our retinas we decided to take refuge in the American Bar for some much deserved beers and sangria. This course of action gave rise to a new term, Benidorming, which means to day drink in an absurd fashion or absurd place.

After Benidorming for several hours we boarded our two hour bus ride back to Valencia. I was able to snap a shot of the city but a tree blocked part of it. Anyway, you can see just how ridiculous Benidorm looks with respect to the rest of my pictures of Spain.

Back in Valencia we gathered ourselves together and then stopped into 100 Montaditos, my favorite restaurant in Spain, for some 1-2 euro sandwiches and 1 euro beers. After relaxing at the hostel, Marc and I met up with Bill and the three of us and new friend Kat went out in search of a bar for a night cap to our great day of Benidorming. We ended up in this Irish Pub where I could get a proper Guiness and after chatting a bit I spied this ridiculous wooden horse. We all had to jump on and snap a few goofy pictures. The one of Bill on flickr is outstanding.

Needless to say, the next morning Marc and I were feeling a bit rough around the gills from all the Benidorming. We decided to remedy our condition by strolling through the Turia Gardens down to the City of Arts and Sciences and eventually to the beach. In leaving we acquired another pal Nick who was dressed in all orange and thereby had to be nicknamed "Dutch." The three of us and Bill began our stroll and ultimately reached the City of Arts and Sciences but not before stopping by and pumping some iron in the park.

The City of Arts and Sciences is spectacular. The Reina Sofia is probably the coolest and looks like a spaceship. There are several other great buildings, all museums, and the area is spectacularly landscaped. Here is an obligatory photo of me at the center.

Wow, lots of photos in this entry. You, dear reader, have been in for a treat. Well, guess what- you are in for one more. Given our less-than-wonderful state, Marc and I decided a dip in the ocean would be just what we needed to level the playing field. Only, I didn't bring my swimsuit. So, in a bold and perhaps reckless move I declared that I would dunk my head by "ostriching," which should be more or less self explanatory for those familiar with ostriches. The team held me to my claims and so before our beach day was through, I ostriched.

Feeling refreshed we returned to the hostel where they were giving away a free pub crawl to the winners of a wii bowling tournament. Not really wanting to go out but not willing to be defeated Marc and I signed up and wouldn't you know we ended up in the final. We decided to split the winning prize and go out on the crawl for half-price. The crawl turned out more or less like the one Monday except there were probably 50 of us instead of 20. Pretty crazy night. One outstanding thing I want to note about Valencia is the street art that you find peppering the city. It's some of the best I've seen, and while Barcelona is touted for its street art, I have to say I haven't seen any better than Valencia.

It should also be noted that during the entirety of our time in Valencia, Marc and I developed and addressed each situation as if we were proper English gentlemen of the Victorian era, accent and all. We decided that the best form of transportation is a motorized penny farthing, and that I would ride it around wearing a top had and TWO monocles shouting down to people on the streets, "GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR!" In keeping with that theme, we ordered wine at the first stop on the tour:

For some reason I love this one of me.

We ended up making it to the club and there are some good photos on flickr (I've already blown this post up with them). The next morning we, thankfully, didn't feel too worse for the wear and so the team strolled down to 100 Montaditos for our final meal in Valencia before going our separate ways. Dutch was off to the UK, Marc was heading to Basque country, and Bill and I were bound for Barcelona on the 4pm train. Despite a rough three nights in Valencia (which as you can probably tell I'm basically in love with), I had no choice but to take a brief nap on the train and then acquire a few pops. Watch out Barcelona, I'm coming in hot.