As you might imagine, in addition to acquiring the necessary gear and booking the travel, it is exceptionally important to take time to first prepare yourself mentally and physically. Travel pundits will often disagree about the specifics of preparation for such adventures, however, one common theme runs constant through most preparatory guides: your training program should emulate the types of activities you will be undertaking during your travels. Naturally, if you plan to backpack it makes sense to spend some time romping around with a laden backpack prior to your departure- perhaps even outdoors or, dare I say, on unpaved and varied terrain.
With that guiding principle in mind, the best thing any intrepid traveler can do to prepare themselves is to design a program specific to their needs and expectations. Described below is the process undertaken to arrive at the 100% Guaranteed Wanderlust Training Program. Feel free to use this as a guide and adapt the program to your own personal desires.
Step 1: Know Your Destination. Before you begin preparing your training regimen it is paramount to understand the implications and nuances of the location(s) you plan to travel. This will impact not only what you need to do to prepare, but also what you can expect to encounter when you arrive. For example, if you are planning to travel through Iceland, you can naturally expect to find ice- which means one less item you need to pack. In my case, I'm planning to travel through Spain, Portugal, and then France.
Accordingly, before I began preparing my training regimen, I spent a considerable amount of time researching my destinations to saturate myself with general knowledge such as the topography, infrastructure, flora and fauna, weather patterns, local customs, cuisine and drink, count and ratio of attractive and available blondes, brunettes, and redheads between the ages of 18 and 28, and any other information I felt might be pertinent or useful. Undoubtedly, one of the best places to start is the World Almanac. A new edition has been published every year since 1868. I prefer the 1901 edition myself, but as the information contained therein is unchanged from year to year, any edition will do.
The World Almanac should provide you with basic information on the majority of topics useful in your trip. This excellent book should not, however, be the sole source in your information gathering. It is important to also discuss with others who have traveled to those locations, or if you don't know anyone who has traveled there, watch a film that takes place there or at least in a nearby or neighboring area. Also, don't be afraid to utilize the internet. It is a wonderful resource full of relevant (but often not commonplace) facts that you will surely find invaluable.
For example, it is well known that in France, especially cosmopolitan places such as Paris, American visitors are universally loved and revered. What is not as commonly known is that French people expect and desire to be addressed in a pithy and condescending manner by visitors. It is considered extremely rude to neglect this oft overlooked proper treatment, and the traditional Frenchman (or woman) is likely to be insulted by your lack of insolence.
Step 2: Design Your Program. After you have done your research and gathered the relevant and useful facts about your destination, you are ready to begin designing your training program. Of course your regimen should incorporate some element of physical training, but do not fail to incorporate other aspects such as improving your linguistic skills, training your digestive system to foreign foods, acclimating your alcohol tolerance levels to the appropriate forms and levels of drink, or learning which leering techniques work most favorably with the local ladies. The best training program will incorporate elements to prepare you for the tests of mettle that await you.
Step 3: Begin Training. You should engage in your training as often as possible, with the obvious exception being any conflicts with your social life. Travel gurus rarely come to a consensus on the duration your training period should last but most will agree that you need at minimum one week (or at least a long weekend) and no more than one calendar year. Apart from those guidelines, feel free to train to your comfort level but be sure you stick with it.
For the 100% Guaranteed Wanderlust Training Program, I have focused primarily on three dynamics in which I shall pursue with all due vigor. These three dynamics are: (1) physical training and exercise; (2) dietary training; and (3) libation consumption training.
As described in prior posts, the "plan" for my particular adventure is to make my way through Spain, Portugal, and France. This, undoubtedly, will necessitate at least moderate walking and up to and possibly including semi-strenuous hiking. As such, sitting on a couch eating leftover pizza, as exciting and enjoyable as that is, will simply not do. Despite my previous employment's tendency to make one sedentarily (yes I just made that word up) inclined, it is imperative for me to engage in a regular amount of physical activity.
Personally, I have elected to spend a few hours in the gym doing a variety of exercises as often as possible, and ultimately 6-8 weeks of training/practice hikes with my pack weighted with clothes or sand or midgets or whatever else I can find. This will allow me to build up cardio endurance while also becoming comfortable with my pack, boots, and other equipment. In the old days it was really important to spend a minimum of 3-4 weeks breaking in your equipment, especially your hiking boots. These days, boots are more technologically advanced to the point where such a lengthy breaking in period is not really necessary. That said, it's never a bad idea to commit an adequate amount of time to becoming comfortable with your gear. It certainly doesn't make much sense to have no idea how to set up your tent or in which end of the sleeping bag you should put your head.
When you are planning your own training program, feel free to add/eliminate certain activities based on your particular plans. For example, if you don't plan to do much backpacking you may need less time practicing with and becoming comfortable with your gear. Your agenda may be, instead, geared toward a significant amount of time dancing in night clubs. If so, your training program should probably include some dance classes, and of course significant practice, so that your body is fully prepared for the continuous onslaught of boogying and hellraising to German euro-techno, and by-association, avoiding (or gobbling up if so preferred) overly hairy, cologned, and tanned Spanish men.
As mentioned above, when designing your program it is paramount to tailor it to your destination. Accordingly, for the diet portion of my regiment, I've begun adapting my cuisine to mimic the tastes I'm likely to experience on my journey. For example, in Spain paella (pronounced 'pie-ey-a') is an exceptionally popular dish consisting of various forms of seafood and rice (or occasionally other meats and vegetables depending on where in the country you are eating it).
To season my digestive for this culinary treat, I've attempted to incorporate it into my weekly food regimen. Unfortunately, I haven't had much access to seafood or meats or vegetables or Spanish rice. I do, however, have an immense amount of instant white rice which I have been consuming with ample amounts of red cayenne pepper seasoning as a substitute. I know what you're thinking and yes, while its not EXACTLY paella, I feel it's close enough that to argue otherwise would be nothing more than splitting hairs. Similarly, to prepare myself for French cuisine I've taken to regularly consuming the staples of French sustenance: baguettes, coffee, and a pack of unfiltered cigarettes.
Finally, if you consider yourself to be a man of the drink, which I certainly do, it is imperative to harden your palate and tolerance to the libations specific to your destination. In Spain, its well known that nothing quite exemplifies a perfect night/day out more than consuming excessive portions of very bad cheap red wine. With that in mind, I have undertaken my first serious foray into American boxed red wine. For between $16-19 you can get a full five liters of fairly strong and (relatively) drinkable wine.
One of the more popular brands, Franzia, comes in a number of types- some well known varieties of wine such as Chardonnay, Cabernet Souvignon, Shiraz, and Zinfindel. It is also available in other varieties (flavors?) which I have never before encountered, such as "Sunset Blush," "Refreshing White," and "Chillable Red." While I have no idea what type of wine (or even grape) constitutes a "chillable red" or "refreshing white," I have no doubt that they are equally cheap and marginally drinkable, which for the price is really all you need.
Similarly, the discerning and traveling drinker must temper his or her stomach against the assault of foreign spirits and liqueurs. In Portugal, any man worth his salt will regularly throw back rounds of aguardente (a spirit often distilled of wine byproduct similar to grappa) without hesitation. While I've never tried this product, from my experiences with grappa this stuff is certain to put hair on your chest, not to mention double as an excellent cleanser for plumbing. The trick to drinking round after round of a strong foreign spirit is to first partake in a tablespoon of olive oil to coat the stomach lining and slow the absorption of gasoline- I mean aguardente.
From port in Porto (or Oporto if you will), to sherry in Jerez, to Absinthe in Paris, the traveling drinker must be prepared to imbibe like the locals and do so heavily. To compensate, I'm training my stomach to be able to consume a variety and mix of liquors by... consuming a variety and mix of liquors. This, of course, should explain why updating Wanderlust with posts has been few and far between of late. As I'm sure you can imagine dear reader(s), employing a strict daily regimen of exercise, unsettling foods, and mass quantities of cheap wine and exotic liquors doesn't leave much time for anything else. Yet, I urge you to have faith. Sometime soon the training shall end and the true adventure will begin.
With that guiding principle in mind, the best thing any intrepid traveler can do to prepare themselves is to design a program specific to their needs and expectations. Described below is the process undertaken to arrive at the 100% Guaranteed Wanderlust Training Program. Feel free to use this as a guide and adapt the program to your own personal desires.
Step 1: Know Your Destination. Before you begin preparing your training regimen it is paramount to understand the implications and nuances of the location(s) you plan to travel. This will impact not only what you need to do to prepare, but also what you can expect to encounter when you arrive. For example, if you are planning to travel through Iceland, you can naturally expect to find ice- which means one less item you need to pack. In my case, I'm planning to travel through Spain, Portugal, and then France.
Accordingly, before I began preparing my training regimen, I spent a considerable amount of time researching my destinations to saturate myself with general knowledge such as the topography, infrastructure, flora and fauna, weather patterns, local customs, cuisine and drink, count and ratio of attractive and available blondes, brunettes, and redheads between the ages of 18 and 28, and any other information I felt might be pertinent or useful. Undoubtedly, one of the best places to start is the World Almanac. A new edition has been published every year since 1868. I prefer the 1901 edition myself, but as the information contained therein is unchanged from year to year, any edition will do.
The World Almanac should provide you with basic information on the majority of topics useful in your trip. This excellent book should not, however, be the sole source in your information gathering. It is important to also discuss with others who have traveled to those locations, or if you don't know anyone who has traveled there, watch a film that takes place there or at least in a nearby or neighboring area. Also, don't be afraid to utilize the internet. It is a wonderful resource full of relevant (but often not commonplace) facts that you will surely find invaluable.
For example, it is well known that in France, especially cosmopolitan places such as Paris, American visitors are universally loved and revered. What is not as commonly known is that French people expect and desire to be addressed in a pithy and condescending manner by visitors. It is considered extremely rude to neglect this oft overlooked proper treatment, and the traditional Frenchman (or woman) is likely to be insulted by your lack of insolence.
Step 2: Design Your Program. After you have done your research and gathered the relevant and useful facts about your destination, you are ready to begin designing your training program. Of course your regimen should incorporate some element of physical training, but do not fail to incorporate other aspects such as improving your linguistic skills, training your digestive system to foreign foods, acclimating your alcohol tolerance levels to the appropriate forms and levels of drink, or learning which leering techniques work most favorably with the local ladies. The best training program will incorporate elements to prepare you for the tests of mettle that await you.
Step 3: Begin Training. You should engage in your training as often as possible, with the obvious exception being any conflicts with your social life. Travel gurus rarely come to a consensus on the duration your training period should last but most will agree that you need at minimum one week (or at least a long weekend) and no more than one calendar year. Apart from those guidelines, feel free to train to your comfort level but be sure you stick with it.
For the 100% Guaranteed Wanderlust Training Program, I have focused primarily on three dynamics in which I shall pursue with all due vigor. These three dynamics are: (1) physical training and exercise; (2) dietary training; and (3) libation consumption training.
As described in prior posts, the "plan" for my particular adventure is to make my way through Spain, Portugal, and France. This, undoubtedly, will necessitate at least moderate walking and up to and possibly including semi-strenuous hiking. As such, sitting on a couch eating leftover pizza, as exciting and enjoyable as that is, will simply not do. Despite my previous employment's tendency to make one sedentarily (yes I just made that word up) inclined, it is imperative for me to engage in a regular amount of physical activity.
Personally, I have elected to spend a few hours in the gym doing a variety of exercises as often as possible, and ultimately 6-8 weeks of training/practice hikes with my pack weighted with clothes or sand or midgets or whatever else I can find. This will allow me to build up cardio endurance while also becoming comfortable with my pack, boots, and other equipment. In the old days it was really important to spend a minimum of 3-4 weeks breaking in your equipment, especially your hiking boots. These days, boots are more technologically advanced to the point where such a lengthy breaking in period is not really necessary. That said, it's never a bad idea to commit an adequate amount of time to becoming comfortable with your gear. It certainly doesn't make much sense to have no idea how to set up your tent or in which end of the sleeping bag you should put your head.
When you are planning your own training program, feel free to add/eliminate certain activities based on your particular plans. For example, if you don't plan to do much backpacking you may need less time practicing with and becoming comfortable with your gear. Your agenda may be, instead, geared toward a significant amount of time dancing in night clubs. If so, your training program should probably include some dance classes, and of course significant practice, so that your body is fully prepared for the continuous onslaught of boogying and hellraising to German euro-techno, and by-association, avoiding (or gobbling up if so preferred) overly hairy, cologned, and tanned Spanish men.
As mentioned above, when designing your program it is paramount to tailor it to your destination. Accordingly, for the diet portion of my regiment, I've begun adapting my cuisine to mimic the tastes I'm likely to experience on my journey. For example, in Spain paella (pronounced 'pie-ey-a') is an exceptionally popular dish consisting of various forms of seafood and rice (or occasionally other meats and vegetables depending on where in the country you are eating it).
To season my digestive for this culinary treat, I've attempted to incorporate it into my weekly food regimen. Unfortunately, I haven't had much access to seafood or meats or vegetables or Spanish rice. I do, however, have an immense amount of instant white rice which I have been consuming with ample amounts of red cayenne pepper seasoning as a substitute. I know what you're thinking and yes, while its not EXACTLY paella, I feel it's close enough that to argue otherwise would be nothing more than splitting hairs. Similarly, to prepare myself for French cuisine I've taken to regularly consuming the staples of French sustenance: baguettes, coffee, and a pack of unfiltered cigarettes.
Finally, if you consider yourself to be a man of the drink, which I certainly do, it is imperative to harden your palate and tolerance to the libations specific to your destination. In Spain, its well known that nothing quite exemplifies a perfect night/day out more than consuming excessive portions of very bad cheap red wine. With that in mind, I have undertaken my first serious foray into American boxed red wine. For between $16-19 you can get a full five liters of fairly strong and (relatively) drinkable wine.
One of the more popular brands, Franzia, comes in a number of types- some well known varieties of wine such as Chardonnay, Cabernet Souvignon, Shiraz, and Zinfindel. It is also available in other varieties (flavors?) which I have never before encountered, such as "Sunset Blush," "Refreshing White," and "Chillable Red." While I have no idea what type of wine (or even grape) constitutes a "chillable red" or "refreshing white," I have no doubt that they are equally cheap and marginally drinkable, which for the price is really all you need.
Similarly, the discerning and traveling drinker must temper his or her stomach against the assault of foreign spirits and liqueurs. In Portugal, any man worth his salt will regularly throw back rounds of aguardente (a spirit often distilled of wine byproduct similar to grappa) without hesitation. While I've never tried this product, from my experiences with grappa this stuff is certain to put hair on your chest, not to mention double as an excellent cleanser for plumbing. The trick to drinking round after round of a strong foreign spirit is to first partake in a tablespoon of olive oil to coat the stomach lining and slow the absorption of gasoline- I mean aguardente.
From port in Porto (or Oporto if you will), to sherry in Jerez, to Absinthe in Paris, the traveling drinker must be prepared to imbibe like the locals and do so heavily. To compensate, I'm training my stomach to be able to consume a variety and mix of liquors by... consuming a variety and mix of liquors. This, of course, should explain why updating Wanderlust with posts has been few and far between of late. As I'm sure you can imagine dear reader(s), employing a strict daily regimen of exercise, unsettling foods, and mass quantities of cheap wine and exotic liquors doesn't leave much time for anything else. Yet, I urge you to have faith. Sometime soon the training shall end and the true adventure will begin.
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