Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Brno, Czech Republic: Ask Not For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ask When

No, the name of the city is not a typo, and yes, it does appear as if it could use a few more vowels. Chalk Brno up as another city I had relatively little knowledge about before visiting. Actually, the only connection I had with Brno was so tangential that it wasn't until my second day of wandering the city that it actually hit me.

When my sister and I were kids (and some may argue to a degree of success I have yet to advance from that phase), my parents would take us to the old Moravian church near Greensboro at Christmas time. I didn't think much of it- I didn't even know what the hell a Moravian was. All I knew was that it was another Christmas tradition and the big draw was the "Moravian cookies" which as I recall were thin, crisp, and very gingery.

I hadn't thought of that Moravian church in years. Well, you can imagine my consternation when I discovered that the Czech Republic is comprised of two regions: Bohemia (which everyone should more or less be familiar with) and... lo and behold, Moravia! And despite the glaring lack of vowels, Brno has been the historic capital of this region since 1641. According to Wikipedia, and only slightly less impressively, Brno is home to the 23rd largest exhibition center in the world. Awesome. 

But what you really need to know about Brno is there are a lot of really old cool looking churches, one cool castle, that the city was once home to Gregor Mendel the founder of genetics, and that people drink pretty much all day long here. But unless you know someone there it's not really much of a tourist destination. Since I had never really heard of Brno it would be a bit much to expect me to have a friend there, however, luckily for me couchsurfing provides just such a venue for meeting locals. And a nice guy named Pavel offered to host me for a few nights in Brno.

When I got to Brno from Vienna, I mistakenly mapped the directions to Pavel's from the wrong train station. The result was a very confused, chilly, and hurried walk through Brno's industrial district until I finally figured out where I was going. When I arrived, Pavel offered to take me for a little walk and then get some wine. What I didn't realize was that in Brno (and many cities in the Czech Republic) there are wine bars where you bring your own bottle and they fill it from great wine casks and charge you by the liter. What a brilliant idea!!


Since I arrived a bit late, we had some wine and chatted about the city and then retired early. The next day I awoke and took a stroll down from Pavel's place and around the old town. The first thing I walked past was the Villa Tugendhat, one of the first works of Ludwig Mies van der Rohe and one of the earliest examples of functionalism architecture. Unfortunately you have to book your tour weeks in advance so I couldn't go inside.


Brno's not a huge town- you can explore the Old Town area in about half a day. As mentioned, most of the main attractions are churches and the castle. One of the more impressive of the churches is the St. Thomas church, a 17th century Baroque style edifice that occupies a commanding position at the end of the wide Jostova avenue. Notably, this doesn't remind me of the Moravian church from my childhood.


Next I made my way up to Spielberk Castle, no doubt named after the immensely popular American film director Steven Spielberg who I assume lived there at some time. I'm so certain of this fact that I'm not even going to bother looking it up.


There are a ton of really interesting looking museums inside the castle. Unfortunately, I didn't realize I had decided to visit Brno on a Monday which means all of the museums I had planned to visit were closed. Balls. That's going to drastically shorten my tour. The interior courtyard of the castle was open, however, and the two most intriguing items inside are the old well which was converted to it's current form during the occupation by Napoleon's forces, and the castle bells which were built during the 1800's.


Unbeknownst to me, the bells still operate on a mechanical function letting off a series of chimes forming part of a musical piece at noon. I don't know if it chimes any other hours because I arrived precisely at 11:59 and stood directly under the bells reading the plaque about their construction. 60 seconds later the automated bells began to sing... directly into my unprotected unanticipating ears!

The reason I can't tell you if the bells chime any other time of the day is not that you can't hear them elsewhere in the city- it's that I couldn't hear anything elsewhere in the city for the next several hours. Here is the video I managed to shoot between mopping the blood from my burst eardrums. Since everything was closed, I walked around the perimeter of the castle where, betwixt the trees, you can find some fleeting views of the city- especially the Cathedral of Saints Peter & Paul- a cathedral so awesome, so tremendous, it's named after TWO saints. Your move KFC double down.


Walking down from the castle if you bear right you'll walk up to the complex that is the Cathedral. The Cathedral is situated on another hill- a bit lower than the castle, but certainly imposing from the street level of the train station below. There is a lookout from the perimeter where you can see out of the entire of southern Brno, a spot where I spotted something curious. See if you can see it.


Cars parked in ascending color order! What are the odds? Don't answer that, I did terrible in statistics. According to my map you can proceed from here around the Cathedral and out onto the main street leading toward the town square. Apparently my map was outdated as I somehow ended up in a blocked-off construction zone. When I turned around and tried to retrace my steps... I was trapped! What the? How did that happen?

I walked back again to where I was but there was no way out. But I... it doesn't... wha? Eventually my stupidity subsided and I realized someone had just moved the metal construction barrier blocking the path I came from. I slid it aside, and was on my way. From the street I finally got a decent-ish up close shot of the Cathedral of St. Pete & Paulie.


Again, this church doesn't remind me of the Moravian church in NC. In fact, far far from it. Also, I haven't seen even ONE of those cookies! :(. The good news is, now is the time when I can tell you some cool history of Brno (as relayed to me by Pavel). And the artifacts for these two stories are (or at least were until the renovations started) housed in the Old Town Hall.


Inside this impressive old edifice are: (1) the Brno "dragon;" and (2) the wheel. I know what you're going to say in your best Ron Burgundy voice, "that doesn't make sense." Let me explain. The Brno "dragon" is actually a crocodile. According to legend, at some point flood waters caused a crocodile to flow up the river into Brno. The crocodile proceeded to terrify the people of the city- eating livestock and some say people. It was finally killed by a man who tricked the croc into eating a carcass filled with lime (the chemical). When it swam back into the water, the lime reacted and it died. But because the citizens of Brno didn't know what it was, they called it a "dragon."

The wheel was from a man who lived outside the city of Brno. He made a bet that he could cut down a tree, make the wheel, and roll it to Brno in one day. He won the bet and every year there is a festival whereby teams of people roll wheels from 50 or so kilometers away to Brno in a single day. Pretty funny- even my host Pavel participates in the event. Sadly because of the renovations I didn't get to see either the dragon or the wheel but here they are on wikipedia.

Finally, one last legend. In 1645 Brno was besieged by the Swedes. The Czechs fought ferociously to defend the city inflicting heavy Swedish losses. At last the Swedish commanders decided that if they couldn't break through to the city by noon of the next day, they would retreat and abandon the siege. The Czech spies learned of this, yet they realized they didn't have enough bullets or powder to hold out until noon. One of the elders came up with the brilliant idea to ring the noon church bells at 11. The bells were rung and sure enough the Swedes withdrew. To this day, the noon bells are rung at 11 instead of 12.


There is the main square. I apologize for this picture in that I did a terrible job framing it or providing any perspective of the actual size of the square. Yet, it looks really cool because the sun is shining on the buildings and the sky is filled with clouds threatening torrential downpours. Those little wooden stands you see are the real highlight, however, selling any and everything from homemade food to beer to liquor to gifts. I stopped at a place selling wine where I got a bottle of the single best honeywine I've ever had. I also stopped at a curious booth and acquired one of these.


So... do you like funnel cakes? Of course you do, you're awesome. Now... imagine that instead of a sweet dough coated in a sugary topping it was made with a salty dough smothered in CHEESE! Did I just change your life? I think I did. It's called a langoš, and it was scrumptious. I don't even like that word but it was so damn tasty that I'll make an exception. You know the one thing that could make this better? You do don't you. You know you do... bacon!

With the museums closed and the main square achieved, my tour was essentially complete for the day. What to do with the remainder of the afternoon? Oh sly reader(s), you know the answer! Czech Republic... time to kill... beer! And one of the couchsurfing folks who couldn't host me recommended I check out this place called Pegas- Brno's oldest brewery.


It's not just a brewery (although they could stop there as the beers are fantastic), but an excellent restaurant. The meal was so good, and so unhealthy, that it bears including it in entirety here. First, I had to try some of the potato pancakes served with a blue cheese sauce. Drool. You'll also notice the dark beer here which complemented the hearty blue cheese perfectly (just random selection I was not "pairing" my beers with food).


The next course was the Czech traditional fare: fried cheese. If you remember the Prague entry, this should come as no surprise. The dish is called Smažený sýr which basically means fried cheese. Traditionally the cheese used is edam, a semi-hard wax coated cheese with a flavor similar to jack. This cold windy day, however, the folks at Pegas thought I could a heartier fare (as if there is anything naturally heartier than a block of fried cheese). So they served me up fried blue cheese. Holy crap. With fries no less.


You can almost just see the bottom of my lager beer at the top of the picture. Needless to say the Czech Republic is not the premier destination for vegetarians or especially vegans. Or just anyone who is moderately health conscious. For example, check out the vegetarian section on the Pegas menu:


Not one item without cheese. Take that vegans! The rest of the day was rudimentary. I strolled around in the wind a bit longer before heading back to Pavel's place where I got some writing done. Later he arrived and cooked us an excellent dinner of chicken and potatoes which we enjoyed with the honeywine. Finally, we went out for a beer at a really really local pub near his flat.


Big thanks to Pavel for hosting me. I came in not knowing what to expect but discovered a city filled with surprises... most of them beer and cheese. But you'll never catch me complaining about a surprise of that nature. Thanks for the good times Moravia- although I never did find those cookies...

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